The real story of the relationship between Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith

Well, back in the 1800's Kendall and Samantha were quite the duo. They went around fighting crime and saving innocent peasants from dastardly landlords and evil Queens. They gained the support of the peasants and eventually overthrew the oppressive American government of Andrew Jackson and Samuel L. Jackson, Andrew Jackson's secret Vice President.

The British did not appreciate this however, and thus began the war of 1812. Kendall and Samantha began to defend their country, now called Kenamanthaville. The peasants loved them, although Kendall and Samantha secretly wished they would all die, or at least go take a shower. Each year of the war, which strangely lasted till 2003(don't believe the history books kiddies). Kendall and Samantha had drastically different agendas about the war however, which proved to become a fatal flaw in their friendship.

The Kenamanthavillians slowly drove the British back to Brittania. Kendall was ready for peace so she could get back to formulating her plan for world domination, but Samantha was ready to kill all their enemies and destroy the world. Both wanted the same goal, but disagreed on how to get it. Thus began a series of assassination attempts on each other. (WARNING: SEMI-VIOLENT CONTENT APPROACHING YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN!!!)

Kendall placed a briefcase full of deadly explosives under Samantha's desk(contrary to popular belief, this was not done by German rebels against Hitler). She was sure she had her. The bombs were set to explode the minute Samantha sat in her chair, but a maid moved the briefcase, and the contents thereof started the Israeli War for Independence.

Samantha placed muscle relaxants in Kendalls drink to attempt to cause her heart to stop beating, and therefore die. But she did not count on Kendall already using drugs daily, so she had built up an immune to them and the drugs just caused Kendall to became even more happy and loopy. There were many more attempts, each stupider and more futile than the first. Suffice to say, they both still live, and both still despise each other.